Do you love yourself? I mean really, truly honest to goodness love yourself… to the core, with every fiber of your being? Do you love your body? Do you think you’re beautiful? Can you look in the mirror…smile and say…”Hey there good lookin‘!” Do you trust your instincts? Here’s the big one…DO YOU FEEL LOVABLE?
I can honestly answer NO to most of those questions. I’ve never felt very good about myself. I never trusted my instincts; didn’t think I was pretty; didn’t think I was smart. In fact, I really didn’t like myself much at all. And, for much of my life I suffered from depression, that came in waves. I’d be fine for a while, then suddenly, there’d be a tidal wave of sadness, paranoia and self hatred. I spent many hours alone, because I was so uncomfortable with my own self-image. I often let my paranoia get the better of me. I was uncomfortable around others, shy and often wondering what they thought of me.
In all of that time I spent alone in my room growing up, I collected poetry. I LOVE poetry and have a small collection of very girly, teenage type poetry. I do write some of my own, but mostly collect poetry. Among the poems in my collection is the poem below called “The Girl in the Glass.” As I was researching for this article, I discovered this poem is an adaptation of a poem by Dale Wimbrow, called The Guy in the Glass, written in 1934. The poem talks about the importance of accepting, loving and trusting yourself. Because, at the end of the day, you’re only hurting yourself, if you can’t be your own best friend.
I finally came out of my shell, when I was an adult, married with 2 kids. I changed my diet and eating habits, which helped with the hormonal aspect of my depression. But the biggest change came when I began my spiritual journey. When you go on a spiritual quest, it forces you to do some soul searching. I prayed a lot and mediated. What else can you do to learn to love yourself unconditionally? Here are 7 tips from Deepak Chopra.
- “Making contact with your inner self” – Through self-contemplation and meditation. This forces you to look inside yourself and answer the tough questions.
- “Honestly facing your inner obstacles and resistance” – This means facing your flaws and being honest about them. One of the things that helped me was realizing that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. You may blame others, like parents or siblings or spouses or others for your insecurities, but you have to look at what those experiences taught you. There are two types of experiences in life: good experiences and lessons. There is a lesson in every bad thing that happens in your life.
- “Dealing with old wounds” – When you start this process, especially when you consistently meditate, you’ll find things get worse before they get better. Old memories and scars will reemerge. You’ll need to deal with them, before you can completely heal. This is a part of the process with which you may need help. Talk to a friend, spouse or counselor.
- “Forgiving your past” – This isn’t something you can pretend of fake. Forgiving is going to take time. Once you learn to accept yourself, and where you are in your life right now, you can learn to forgive those who have caused you harm or abuse.
- “Accepting where you are right now “- This is the one where you have to say…”what’s done is done,” which will take time. You can’t change the past, so you need to learn to accept where you are and the person you are at this moment.
- “Forming relationships where you feel loved and appreciated” – This process will be better if you walk the path with a loved one. For me, I had my husband, who helped and supported me every step of the way. This is also an uncomfortable time, because you will realize there are people, in your life, who are no longer in sync with your new viewpoints and lifestyle. It’s okay to find new people who can support you, while you walk this new path.
- “Practicing the kind of love you aspire to receive” – You’ve probably heard the saying “what goes around, comes around.” Karma baby! Karma isn’t always bad. Karma is simply the law of attraction. What you do to or for others, will come back to you. The more love and kindness you give to the world, the more you will receive. It’s the golden rule…TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WISH TO BE TREATED.
I’m closing out with a song today…
As I was looking for a song to go with my poem today, I found a video of Sophia Grace and her cousin Rosie, from Essex, England, as they appeared on the Ellen Show. Sophia Grace is 8 and Rosie is 5. Sophia has an absolutely AMAZING voice!
Here they are on Ellen:
Here is Sophia Grace singing
“Girl in the Mirror”,
a fitting song for our
and don’t forget to
love that girl in the mirror!