My Journal: Falling…and Getting Back Up

I have fallen away from

my goals over the past 2 weeks…

Well, I think I dread writing this entry more than my first one.  At the end of my first journal entry, posted on May 4, I added these goals:

  • OBVIOUSLY-stay away from soda
  • Drink 100 ounces of water a day
  • Log all food/meals
  • walk 2 miles a day
  • do yoga 3 times during the week
  • meditate every day for 30 minutes

I was doing very well. I had been away from soda for several weeks. I was logging food every day and meditating each morning. Water is never a problem for me. I was even walking 2 miles a day. The only thing I struggled with is finding time to do yoga.

Then Monday May 8th hit…

As many of you know, on that day, my son was in a bicycle accident in which he broke 3 bones-his right wrist and both bones in his lower left leg. His leg required surgery and our lives were turned upside down.

I spent 4 days and 3 nights in the hospital with him. My stress levels went off the charts. I was getting, at most, 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night. ALL of the above goals went out the window and all effort went to focus on my son. I didn’t care about anything else. I didn’t take care of myself…I didn’t do any school work…I didn’t leave the hospital, or my house, after he was released from the hospital. I didn’t exercise…at all. I didn’t meditate or do yoga. I quit logging my meals. In fact, I quit eating healthy. I was lucky to eat at all.

Worst of all… I started drinking soda again.

Just like an addict, drawn back to what brings comfort. Soda has always been a source of comfort for me, especially during times of stress.

I don’t mean for this to sound like an excuse. It’s just what happened and it’s a pattern for me… a pattern I must break. I feel awful, worse than usual. Not because I let myself down, which I did, but because I feel as if I have let all of you down. That’s the power of a journal of this nature. Something this public is very motivating. At the time of this particular failure, all focus was on my family, so I didn’t care about the fact that I would eventually have to admit all to you. But, writing this is very difficult for me and I don’t want to have to do it again.

So, using the SMART goal technique

Here is my plan for getting back up again…

In order to improve my health and rid my body of psoriatic arthritis, as well as  chronic sinus pain, I will lose 30 pounds-2 pounds a week for 15 weeks, beginning on Sunday, May 21, 2017 and ending on Sunday, September 3, 2017. In order to accomplish this goal, I will do the following things-

  • Stay away from soda-I quit drinking soda 5 days ago. So, I’ve been clean for about 5 days now.
    • Take glutamine to stave off cravings. – For more information about glutamine, see THIS article. I’ll write about it on the next Wellness Wednesday.
    • Do tapping to help with cravings
  • Walk 5 miles a day
    • My goal was to work up to walking 5 miles a day (10,000 steps)
    • To do this, I am going to start with 2 miles (4000 steps) and slowly work my way up to 5 miles. I think I can still manage this. I had planned on doing this outside. However, since my son is homebound/bedridden, I can’t leave him alone, so walking outside is out of the question.
    • I can, however, walk inside. I haven’t been doing this, but I think it’s possible. I even have lots of stairs, which add to the challenge.
  • Meditate every day for 30 minutes– This is easily accomplished, it will just take the ambition to get it done.
  • Drink 100 ounces of water a day-When I’m not drinking soda, I drink only water. So no problem here. I track it with
  • Eat whole foods 90% of the time.-allow myself to eat 1 or 2 “fun foods” a week (non-sugary of course.)
  • Log all food/meals-Again-easy enough to do…just need to do it. Tracked with
  • Do power yoga 2 times during the week– every Tuesday and Thursday – I hate lifting weights, but LOVE LOVE LOVE yoga. I’m hoping that by doing power yoga instead, my muscle tone will improve.

There is my goal. You can follow me every step of the way. I’ll post a journal each week, with stats from my food and exercise log. This log/journal will help me stick with it and hold me accountable.

Hopefully, I won’t fall again. I need to quit using life’s stresses as an excuse to eat/drink sugar. There will always be stressful times in my life. I need to figure out how to deal with stress, without turning to sugar.

Because I am going into the field of nutrition, I tend to hold myself to a higher standard. I feel like such a failure so far, with my inability to give up sugar. I know EXACTLY what it does to me, yet I can’t stop, or I have a hard time stopping. It’s really frustrating. I feel like in order to be able to help others, I need to help myself first. Since I’m still in school learning how to do this, now is the best time.

I also hope you learn from my experiences and failures. Also, through my experience, I hope you come to understand that nutritionists often struggle with the same issue as everyone else. Maybe, because I am going through this, I’ll be able to better understand what people are going through, because I’ve been there. One more thing for you..

Isn’t life funny?

A comment from came in

just as I was typing this journal entry.

It contained a link to this song,

in hopes that it would lift my spirits.


I knew it was meant to be shared with all of you.

Enjoy your weekend everyone!


28 thoughts on “My Journal: Falling…and Getting Back Up

  1. Nice sincere post. When life happens, as it often does we fall off the track. But, we can always get back and eventually good habits are formed and then life will test us again and this time we wont fall off so badly…well thats what i find. Btw every tuesday for the past week i have been sharing meditation commentaries if u wanna listen. They arent 30 mings long. Adfitionally i have a meditation and a songs page for meditation if u are looking for anything new. Wish u all the best with your goals

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words. 🙂 I need to give myself credit for all of my good habits, and there are many. However, sugar is such an overpowering bad habit, that it’s hard to overlook it.
      Thank you for the heads up in regard to the meditation. I’ll be sure to check it out.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I agree we can always get back on track when life happens and we fall off the track.
      Great post and a great reminder that there are options other than falling down and staying down.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Great work! Your kid is your priority. Very unexpected and something you can’t control. I’d give yourself a break on this one. You’ll get back on track. When I talk to folks who are struggling with goals, one of the biggest things they do is take on too much change at once. If you find yourself struggling again, pick one or two things to tweak, and slowly adjust to that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind comments and words of encouragement. I’m very hard on myself when it comes to nutrition. I feel as if I should know better. You’re right, maybe, for me, tackling one or two things is enough. Breaking my addiction to sugar is a huge thing to work on. That should come first i guess.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah. I read somewhere that kicking the sugar habit is harder than quitting heroin. You also have to realize that it is in anything and everything that is processed. Sugar is not bad per se. It’s the type you are consuming that is bad. Fast acting carbs (like table sugar, corn syrup, etc.) hit your blood stream immediately. Once they do your pancreas kicks out insulin and all of that sugar gets stored as fat. If you eat a complex carbohydrate like oatmeal, you are getting sugar, but it is more slowly introduced into your system and there is no spiking of your glucose levels. There are other things you can eat that do the same thing. Honey, for example, tastes really sweet, but it doesn’t spike your blood sugar. Cinnamon can also help. Take it slow. If you are drinking 5 or 6 sodas a day, maybe reduce this by 1 or 2 per day. If you cut it out immediately, that’s ok, but it may be too much. Just realize how long you’ve been drinking sodas and you’ll see what I mean. Building this habit took a long time, it may not take as long, but it will take a while for you to ween yourself from this stuff. I used to drink a lot, chew tobacco, drink 5-6 cups of coffee a day, and eat truckloads of processed foods and sugars. It took me a few years to break all of this stuff. If you take it slow, you’ll keep that stuff away forever, and won’t miss it at all, once the mind gets used to not getting the rush that comes with consuming this stuff.
        When it comes to exercise, start small. Walk 10 minutes. Do 5 push ups. Do planks for 20 seconds. Make it so ridiculous that it is impossible for you to miss a day doing this, even if you are a little sick, or you have another emergency. Who couldn’t do a 20-second plank each day or 1 or 2 pushups?

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Well, you are not alone. It’s encouraging to read your blog, knowing that we have tomorrow. Wish you the best with your son, and you! Get some rest and look forward to reading more of your motivating blogs.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Good luck with everything! Habits are very hard to change…. One thought on giving up sugar, have you tried replacing it 1 for 1 with honey in everything you cook/bake? Honey (as you have written) has so many health benefits and this way, you’re not losing all sweet taste — just the nutritional black hole of sugar….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, yes, I use Manuka honey all the time. I use it in my tea for sweetener. (along with monk fruit) I am a HUGE fan of raw honey and have been using it for years.
      However, for some reason, when I’m under a lot of stress, like these past few weeks, honey sweetened tea just doesn’t cut it.

      I’ll be fine. I’ve done this before too many times. I’ll use glutamine to help with the cravings. I’ve recently been using tapping which helps with the cravings and with the stress. It’s getting through the first 2 weeks or so that’s the hardest. I can’t/won’t eat ANY sugar during these next 2 weeks, including fruit and honey. It’s too much like sugar. I need to get through the cravings first. Once they are gone, I can add in fruit, then honey.

      I don’t bake all that much. On the rare occasion when I do, I use rapadura, a type of raw sugar. I have never really tried using honey in baking though. I may have to try that.
      I rarely, if ever by white sugar. I sometimes buy it for Christmas baking, and my son thinks it’s the strangest stuff. (Since our sugar is typically raw and brown)
      I actually have a really healthy diet, which is whole foods about 80% to 90% of the time. I drink between 80 and 100 ounces of water a day. Raw sugar, real maple syrup, raw honey and pink Himalayan salt are staples in our house, along with a whole rainbow of whole food.
      Now, my final stumbling block is my addiction to soda. If I can conquer that, I’ll be good. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks 🙏 I appreciate that. 😊 giving up soda is really my final stumbling block. Unfortunately it’s a huge one. I do feel as if I’ll do it this time. Thanks for your vote of confidence.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Tamara,
    I’m happy you liked the music … All the best to you and your family … Franti seems like a great guy … comes from the Heart … He is known as a Soul Rocker … after seeing his concert on Maui last week, I agree … Aloha – Bob

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I love your courage. Thank you for sharing your journey. I’m a recovered alcoholic I have been in recovery for 15 years. My last drunk was three fifths, a bottle of wine and a half gallon of whiskey. I drank myself silly for 2 days. I won’t go in to detail. My story is on my blog for the world to read. I understand your addiction. I want to encourage you today not to give up. Sometimes life throws us a curveball that knocks us down. Les Brown says if you get knocked down land on your back so you can get yourself back up. John maxwell says fail forward. You slipped. Big deal. That doesn’t make you a failure. Learn from it and move on. Keep moving forward. I have my own struggles. I won’t go in to detail but believe when I say I understand. Sometimes when I feel like a failure I listen to this video by Les Brown. It inspires me. Motivates me and gives me the determination to get back up. I would like to share it w you today. I’m coming back and so are you!!! Have an awesome and blessed day!!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much. My goal in life is to be an inspiration and hope for others. I’ve been through so much. I don’t wish my trials on anyone. However if my story can help others then it’s all worth it. You made my day ❤ stay strong

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You are absolutely reaching your goal…You have inspired me and I’m sure others. I like to say that beauty comes through adversity. (what’s the old saying…even flowers grow through dirt.) God bless!

        Liked by 1 person

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